Falling into Wonderland, someone catch me.

Last night’s antics in combination with a couple weeks of tough feelings equalled life giving me a few slaps in the face. It is a black eye I am happy about because I think it is scaring me into actually figuring something out. A lack of experience and lack of specific path have me scared shitless about the next five years. I do not know what I am headed towards, if anything at all.

I have not felt connected to anything or anyone in some time now. Leaving and coming back was easy at first. That giddy sense of return and love quickly fades into reality, and everyone falls back into the place there lives went without you around. You once again learn who really cares, but no one is never a welcomed realization. It is what I think a rabbit hole would feel like. Alice I’m still falling, send someone to catch me, would ya? I’m ready for the Wonderland part.

I want to graduate and begin a life of working and progressing something incredibly interesting. Easy to say, trying to figure out how the hell to make it remotely likely.

Back to the root of thought... or trying

I have been very distraught recently by my lack of inspiration in general.
As I have been pondering the differences in mindset between my most inspired times and least, I notice I no longer give myself the time to have a thought worth sharing or writing down. When listening to music is not enough, especially when you are one to become all consumed in it musical wonder. The thoughts come in and out and circle around, but are destroyed the moment the follow-up is useless apps such as … dun dun dun Facebook.
I have never been a big fan, but after realizing that possible connection it is time for our relationship to end. At least for a while.

One might call me out for not doing the same with Twitter, but in my opinion the two are very different. I get to share and experience others’ ponderous thoughts that spark actual conversations. Sad they have to be virtual. I need older friends or different ones.

I’d say the fact that it just brought me to put down my advertising book and blog in general is a good sign. Maybe I will reconnect with myself soon, who knows maybe other people too. I think I need to find myself again first, or the latter won’t work either.

More blog thoughts are coming through, I think it is a good sign. Hope the wires are beginning to spark again, lets hope I can twist them together again.