To be determined

Left or Right? North or South? East or West?
You know better than I do.

Two months in and senior year already has two staple features,
laughter and fear.
With 8 months until I come face to face with the real world, and all of her mayhem,
I am trying to make all the proper decisions to turn the fear to excitement.
Two things stand in my way, experience, or lack there of, and a crossroads of which career path to pursue.

I have two major interests, both offsets of my dream job. Writing with the talent of Amy Poehler or Tina Fey, obviously.
How do you choose? How do you know what moves to play and which ones to save? Oh the pressure of having this one life and wanting to make the right choices to have the best possible life and least likely for regret.
New Orleans? New York? LA? A big soccer city? TV/Film production or sports writing/broadcasting? So many avenues and choices, but not a lot of experience or connections. Do you go where you have the connection because you probably have it for a reason?

So much to figure out and so little time. Senior year sneaks up, as you pray for it to come, and then you beg for more time.
More time for added knowledge and insight to nudge you in the "right" direction. I can only hope that the wheels are turning as they are meant to and that the cards fall somewhere pleasant.

I must say, even with the stresses of figuring out the future AND making it across the stage to get your diploma, it has been one hell of a ride. Thank God I have come full circle and am having the most stressful but most rewarding year of college. I have amazing friends and spend more time laughing than you could ask for. I will miss them as we veer down different paths, but I am so thankful to have gotten to learn so much about friendship from them and the ones no longer around. The people and relationships to come is one thing that already fills me with excitement. That is what life is about, no?

Quality Definitions

Does your definition of a friend change?
Or is it that your friend’s fall out of the definition?

I think the only logical choice, at least for me,
is both.

Who knows if they ever really fit the description.
Maybe you put on your Wayfarers and see things the way you dream them to be.

All I can say now is that as the Wayfarers came off,
and I sat with nothing but my thoughts and holes in mouth,
the definition became clear and so did those who do not fit into it.

Falling into Wonderland, someone catch me.

Last night’s antics in combination with a couple weeks of tough feelings equalled life giving me a few slaps in the face. It is a black eye I am happy about because I think it is scaring me into actually figuring something out. A lack of experience and lack of specific path have me scared shitless about the next five years. I do not know what I am headed towards, if anything at all.

I have not felt connected to anything or anyone in some time now. Leaving and coming back was easy at first. That giddy sense of return and love quickly fades into reality, and everyone falls back into the place there lives went without you around. You once again learn who really cares, but no one is never a welcomed realization. It is what I think a rabbit hole would feel like. Alice I’m still falling, send someone to catch me, would ya? I’m ready for the Wonderland part.

I want to graduate and begin a life of working and progressing something incredibly interesting. Easy to say, trying to figure out how the hell to make it remotely likely.

Back to the root of thought... or trying

I have been very distraught recently by my lack of inspiration in general.
As I have been pondering the differences in mindset between my most inspired times and least, I notice I no longer give myself the time to have a thought worth sharing or writing down. When listening to music is not enough, especially when you are one to become all consumed in it musical wonder. The thoughts come in and out and circle around, but are destroyed the moment the follow-up is useless apps such as … dun dun dun Facebook.
I have never been a big fan, but after realizing that possible connection it is time for our relationship to end. At least for a while.

One might call me out for not doing the same with Twitter, but in my opinion the two are very different. I get to share and experience others’ ponderous thoughts that spark actual conversations. Sad they have to be virtual. I need older friends or different ones.

I’d say the fact that it just brought me to put down my advertising book and blog in general is a good sign. Maybe I will reconnect with myself soon, who knows maybe other people too. I think I need to find myself again first, or the latter won’t work either.

More blog thoughts are coming through, I think it is a good sign. Hope the wires are beginning to spark again, lets hope I can twist them together again.