Alone.

I am literally alone, with no outlet, for the first time in many years.
I don't know what to do with myself,
who am I to talk to?
I have movies and television as an outlet,
but that isn't life - much less mine.
How do I bring all the feelings to reality?
I may be in a pretty place for the next 3+ months,
but what does that mean for my mind?
I cannot keep it together.
I want that conversation and relationships,
my friends (recent real ones for sure) have kept me sane.
I am REALLY feeling the lack of New York in my life recently,
and how to live otherwise is not coming easily.
and I don't know how to fix it.
For sure, I don't know how to live without it anymore,
the suffocation is taking over.
Help.

I miss and love you.

I need New York really, really badly.
I have said many times,
once a year keeps me sane.
It is beginning to prove itself,
I need to refuel.
My soul is depleted,
I need home.
I need my reality,
screwdrivers don't give the same enlightenment.
I feel a loss and death within,
without you I have nothing.
My life and soul is depleted,
come back to me.
You are all I need in this life.